lunabuna | (no subject)

I find it amazing how frickin' uninspired and unmotivated I've been as of late. It's like almost all of my passion is gone. Sometimes I wonder if I've somehow trained myself to give up before trying and without my knowledge. I want to try, but I really. Frickin'. CAN'T. get myself to do what I want to/need to do.

I'm talking about my Psych classes. I find them interesting, but I really just ... somehow don't care. I want to care, very much so, but FARK. STUDY. DO HOMEWORK. DO ANYTHING. Why the hell can't I motivate myself?

Sometimes I wonder, but then I stop and think of what I really want, deep down. I really want to be in art college perfecting my skills and learning to become a traditional animator. That's what I really, really want. I've wanted it since elementary school. I guess with Mom giving me a hard time about finances, the idea of getting a student loan is becoming more and more likely. I can't stand being in debt, which is why I avoided it in the first place. But... I'm wondering if it's making me want to just go for broke and go to art college like I really want, and it's somehow affecting my performance in Psychology.

Psych is interesting, but I just have the instinct of an animator. Bringing cartoon characters to life--ugh, so awesome. I guess I joined Psych as a way to cheaply get my degree in a less artsy profession that could actually earn me decent money in the future. But it's like... there's a reason why I didn't just become a Business major. It's boring to me. Psych is more interesting, but god, some of the stuff... BORING. SO, SO BORING. Stats... boring! Research methods... boring! Neuroscience... BORING. I don't give a shit about this stuff. I care about interpersonal and intrapersonal innerworkings. What's fun about artwork is that you can express what you see in that sort of stuff while utilizing it as a creative outlet.

I'm pretty much angsting because I had a test today, and I tried to get myself to study for it, but damn. I really wish I knew what was wrong. The above paragraphs are all speculation, really. I really don't want to flunk. I want to do well! And I have the motivation to an extent, but... I just lack will power or something. Another reason why I think art college would work well for me. Drawing doesn't take will power. Heck, I draw when I'm supposed to be studying.

Goddang Psych, I mean, SHEESH. "What symbol do we use to calculate blah blah blah in a blah test?" WHO CARES? It's all written down for us anyway! Why do we have to memorize all that shit? Why do we have to memorize ONE STINKIN' SENTENCE in a book out of... god.... 5 chapters, which are about 30 pages each... you do the math! That's such bull! If I did get a job in psych (social worker, woot), I'm not going to have to constantly go back to THIS ONE STINKIN' BOOK to quote ONE GENERIC SENTENCE for any given situation!

Teach me how to draw perspective... heh... that's something I can use.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

First off, are you taking Psych because you HAVE to or because it was your decision early on? If you HAVE to take it (gen. ed. requirement, etc.) then just say to yourself "it's okay, I don't have to ace this, just get a decent grade and I'll get this out of the way forever."

If not, then I do suggest trying what you can to get to an art school anyway. There's millions of college students in debt in this country, it's only natural. The trick is to find the right way to get out of it. There are companies out there that try to trick students into thinking there's no other option and this one only choice is really damn expensive. Research a bit on how to relieve your debt enough so that you can go to an art school. I'd only put the effort into this if you REALLY REALLY wanna leave where you are now to pursue your animation to the fullest.

I'm the same way with Psyc, lol. It's such an interesting course but like... I can't bring myself to put any effort into it. I missed the last 2 months of lectures and my final exam is COMPLETELY multiple choice so I'm just going to like, read the textbook for a few hours and go in with guns a-blazin'. I can't bring myself to be passionate about it when there's other stuff I want to do (though in my case, it's Biology that interests me).

I'm sorry to hear you're in such a rut. Part of me wants to encourage you to follow your dream but I know for a fact it's not what I would do. Money is important to me, and even if drawing were my passion I would force myself into a career that guarantees success.

Oh man sweetie, I know that has to be tough. I'm still debating about what I should do with my life. I figured out that as an art major I have a chance of making a LOT more than a biology major in the fields that I enjoy. A lot of the labs and the places I could get a job at with a biology degree pay jack shit, lmao. But as an art major I have at least a chance to make the same wages doing what I love, and maybe even one day I could work with animals if I ever have to draw them.

Psych I always thought looked hard lmao, it looks cool but the class material just seems too tough. I hope you can figure out what you really want to do, I think you have a lot more potential as an animator than I ever could. You definitely could do it! If you ever want to talk to me about it maybe both of us could benefit<3

I know how you feel, Luna. When I was in university, I was bored, uninspired, and unmotivated. Honestly, the academic studies are terribly overrated... and they rarely give you the skills to get a good job, let alone one you enjoy.
I dropped university like a bad habit and went to college. (the difference in Canada is that universities are all about academic studies and can get you a degree, masters, or PhD - colleges are career-oriented, teach you everything you'll need to do a job in the trades or technology, and give you a work-term and diploma.
I went to MUN for two years wondering what the hell to do, then went to a private college, did graphic design, and now I'm working in a career that I love.

In short, go off to art school or something! Do what you love!