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Apr. 3rd, 2007 11:27 amI find it amazing how frickin' uninspired and unmotivated I've been as of late. It's like almost all of my passion is gone. Sometimes I wonder if I've somehow trained myself to give up before trying and without my knowledge. I want to try, but I really. Frickin'. CAN'T. get myself to do what I want to/need to do.
I'm talking about my Psych classes. I find them interesting, but I really just ... somehow don't care. I want to care, very much so, but FARK. STUDY. DO HOMEWORK. DO ANYTHING. Why the hell can't I motivate myself?
Sometimes I wonder, but then I stop and think of what I really want, deep down. I really want to be in art college perfecting my skills and learning to become a traditional animator. That's what I really, really want. I've wanted it since elementary school. I guess with Mom giving me a hard time about finances, the idea of getting a student loan is becoming more and more likely. I can't stand being in debt, which is why I avoided it in the first place. But... I'm wondering if it's making me want to just go for broke and go to art college like I really want, and it's somehow affecting my performance in Psychology.
Psych is interesting, but I just have the instinct of an animator. Bringing cartoon characters to life--ugh, so awesome. I guess I joined Psych as a way to cheaply get my degree in a less artsy profession that could actually earn me decent money in the future. But it's like... there's a reason why I didn't just become a Business major. It's boring to me. Psych is more interesting, but god, some of the stuff... BORING. SO, SO BORING. Stats... boring! Research methods... boring! Neuroscience... BORING. I don't give a shit about this stuff. I care about interpersonal and intrapersonal innerworkings. What's fun about artwork is that you can express what you see in that sort of stuff while utilizing it as a creative outlet.
I'm pretty much angsting because I had a test today, and I tried to get myself to study for it, but damn. I really wish I knew what was wrong. The above paragraphs are all speculation, really. I really don't want to flunk. I want to do well! And I have the motivation to an extent, but... I just lack will power or something. Another reason why I think art college would work well for me. Drawing doesn't take will power. Heck, I draw when I'm supposed to be studying.
Goddang Psych, I mean, SHEESH. "What symbol do we use to calculate blah blah blah in a blah test?" WHO CARES? It's all written down for us anyway! Why do we have to memorize all that shit? Why do we have to memorize ONE STINKIN' SENTENCE in a book out of... god.... 5 chapters, which are about 30 pages each... you do the math! That's such bull! If I did get a job in psych (social worker, woot), I'm not going to have to constantly go back to THIS ONE STINKIN' BOOK to quote ONE GENERIC SENTENCE for any given situation!
Teach me how to draw perspective... heh... that's something I can use.
I'm talking about my Psych classes. I find them interesting, but I really just ... somehow don't care. I want to care, very much so, but FARK. STUDY. DO HOMEWORK. DO ANYTHING. Why the hell can't I motivate myself?
Sometimes I wonder, but then I stop and think of what I really want, deep down. I really want to be in art college perfecting my skills and learning to become a traditional animator. That's what I really, really want. I've wanted it since elementary school. I guess with Mom giving me a hard time about finances, the idea of getting a student loan is becoming more and more likely. I can't stand being in debt, which is why I avoided it in the first place. But... I'm wondering if it's making me want to just go for broke and go to art college like I really want, and it's somehow affecting my performance in Psychology.
Psych is interesting, but I just have the instinct of an animator. Bringing cartoon characters to life--ugh, so awesome. I guess I joined Psych as a way to cheaply get my degree in a less artsy profession that could actually earn me decent money in the future. But it's like... there's a reason why I didn't just become a Business major. It's boring to me. Psych is more interesting, but god, some of the stuff... BORING. SO, SO BORING. Stats... boring! Research methods... boring! Neuroscience... BORING. I don't give a shit about this stuff. I care about interpersonal and intrapersonal innerworkings. What's fun about artwork is that you can express what you see in that sort of stuff while utilizing it as a creative outlet.
I'm pretty much angsting because I had a test today, and I tried to get myself to study for it, but damn. I really wish I knew what was wrong. The above paragraphs are all speculation, really. I really don't want to flunk. I want to do well! And I have the motivation to an extent, but... I just lack will power or something. Another reason why I think art college would work well for me. Drawing doesn't take will power. Heck, I draw when I'm supposed to be studying.
Goddang Psych, I mean, SHEESH. "What symbol do we use to calculate blah blah blah in a blah test?" WHO CARES? It's all written down for us anyway! Why do we have to memorize all that shit? Why do we have to memorize ONE STINKIN' SENTENCE in a book out of... god.... 5 chapters, which are about 30 pages each... you do the math! That's such bull! If I did get a job in psych (social worker, woot), I'm not going to have to constantly go back to THIS ONE STINKIN' BOOK to quote ONE GENERIC SENTENCE for any given situation!
Teach me how to draw perspective... heh... that's something I can use.
